I came home with a sick feeling in my tummy. It was not because the next day was my last working day at office. It was not because of the farewell treat where I over ate. Just when the final week approached and I was preparing myself for the next step, the unexpected again happened. Just when I thought I knew the direction, again I was at loss, having made to take a quick decision .
Post resignation I kept writing down my thoughts only to realize that part time job is the best for mom and baby/kids. Once at home full time, ladies tend to get immersed in the household chores more than they would want. And reality was I could not simply indulge in my expensive interests all my life unless there was a job to support them. Hence, I made it clear to the managers that I would be back if they wanted me for half a day. But they again denied due to list of reasons and made me understand how it was not practical. On the last week of serving my notice period, I was sure there is no turning back and was busy making plans for at least one year. I was planning of how I would find that half day, self sustaining job. Job which would give me some income and some time to pursue my passion. How I would try all my interests to see if it could generate income, if not then freelancing options and so on. Just when I was preparing myself for what would be the best or the worst decision I had taken, I was asked by my managers if I was still in for the half day. In spite of the popular belief(supported with reason) that half day would not work out in team/organization like ours, some situation just made them feel like trying out.
The cook who was on 3 months leave had also finally declared that week, that she would not come back. It had unsettled me since that would mean more shortage of time. The half day would be a good transition option where I could focus on getting back my health on track and finding a new cook. Gearing up for what would be next. There was very short time to make the final decision (half an hour) and plus so many had tried so hard, working around with policies, the matter seemed to have been so escalated that in the end I could not even deny. So I gave a thumbs up, on the last but one working day, as an employee of my first company. It was done just because of the situation, but the amount they tried for it, did make me feel good and wanted.
So there I was, a weekend to rest and then a contract employee for a duration of 6 months at half day/half pay. But still something did not seem fine, Was not sure what. One of my friend was laughing at me in office saying my life now really seems like Ekta Kapoor's serials. Every day one new drama."DhaDhun!"
The cook who was on 3 months leave had also finally declared that week, that she would not come back. It had unsettled me since that would mean more shortage of time. The half day would be a good transition option where I could focus on getting back my health on track and finding a new cook. Gearing up for what would be next. There was very short time to make the final decision (half an hour) and plus so many had tried so hard, working around with policies, the matter seemed to have been so escalated that in the end I could not even deny. So I gave a thumbs up, on the last but one working day, as an employee of my first company. It was done just because of the situation, but the amount they tried for it, did make me feel good and wanted.
The realization dawned just when I reached home. I needed that vacation but somewhere over quick bargains it got overlooked again. The demand was 6 months break, agreed was 1 month break and what happened was I just got the usual weekend (again due to different situations). I was to report immediately on monday, as the employee of a new company but in the same old team, same old place, doing the same old work. I willingly or unwillingly compromised on that break which I thought was much needed. Perhaps I was again giving in to fears. Something would have worked out even if I had not agreed for the new proposal.
It's was too late to revert, and it felt bad because I felt obliged to agree in the end. This situation made me realize that the second part of a well known quote is true as well. "Naseeb se zyada aur naseeb se kam kisi ko kuch nahi miltha". We will get what we are destined to get even if we try to get rid of it.
At the same time, all this started because a full day job with a kid around suffocated me due to various reasons. Somehow I got what I wanted much more easily than I thought. Though the duration for which it extends is uncertain, it is a lucky chance to find out if a half day job is just what is needed.
Just what a mom needs. Just what one needs to pursue passion. Just what the company needs too.
At the same time, all this started because a full day job with a kid around suffocated me due to various reasons. Somehow I got what I wanted much more easily than I thought. Though the duration for which it extends is uncertain, it is a lucky chance to find out if a half day job is just what is needed.
Just what a mom needs. Just what one needs to pursue passion. Just what the company needs too.
Six more months to go.
Need to charge up, lots to prove so.
Hope I would give back what I took.
But more important is to retain the new outlook.
Perhaps it's a smooth transition, to make the most.
Ye tho bas shuruaat hai, picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!
photo credit: 2007_03_04_sunrise_33.JPG via photopin (license)
photo credit: 2007_03_04_sunrise_33.JPG via photopin (license)
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