The room upstairs

Nisha had arrived that morning to her elder sister, Tara's house, which was in their beautiful native, Mangalore. After stuffing lunch into the toddlers mouth, she relaxed and chatted with her parents and sister. So much was there to catch up. Each one had something to say and each one spoke louder than the other. Kids were happily forgotten for sometime.

"Aiyyo! Did you go to the room upstairs all alone?!" , exclaimed Tara in her usual loud voice. The loud voice startled and scared Sanvi, who burst out crying. Puzzled, Tara picked Sanvi and brought her to the living room where Nisha hugged her and calmed her down. Tara had just left the discussion to do some household chores and found the two and a half year old coming downstairs all alone. Usually at that age they would accompany the kids lest they trip and fall.

Nisha thought the baby must have been upto some mischief. "Why did you cry?" she asked Sanvi who had now settled with some toys. There was no reply.
Tara again started to go back to her work but Sanvi jumped and caught her nighty tightly, "Dont go to the loom(room) upstairs Doamma(aunty)! Don't go pleeaase!", she  yelled and again burst into tears.
"No dear! I am just going to the kitchen. I will not go upstairs! Don't cry!" said Tara. This continued for a while till Sanvi was convinced.
Nisha took the opportunity to probe further, "What would happen if Doamma goes to the room upstairs?"
"I will be socked(shocked)! You also don't go please", said Sanvi.
"She must have gotten scared of something", said Gowri, Nisha's mother.

Till her afternoon nap, the toddler kept asking everyone to not go to the room upstairs. Once she was asleep Nisha went to the room to find out what could have happened upstairs. It was a duplex house with the first floor having a single bedroom and an attached bathroom. This room had Mangalore tiles for the roof which gave it an authentic look and kept the room cool and ventilated. Nisha noticed the sounds that the coconut tree leaves made against the tiles. Some other sounds from sources she could not identify were also present. These noises made the place slightly spooky. To her Mangalore always seemed like that. She had mostly vacationed in the country parts where the silence seemed to be more noisy. At the end of room was an old steel almirah with a shelf and a mirror. The plastic toy rabbit which Sanvi was playing with in the morning, was lying on the shelf. "Sanvi must have come till here", thought Nisha and walked till the almirah tracing the baby's path. She reached the mirror and  stared at her own eyes.

It was the summer that Nisha's sister got married. Her parents had to leave her alone at her grandparents place for a few days. The house was a an old Anglo-Indian styled bungalow in the midst of a beautiful farm. This was the first time she had to sleep all alone at night. As luck would have it, there was a power cut ending the comfortable breeze and rhythm of the ceiling fan. In the silence, the otherwise unheard sounds were now magnified. In the kitchen room, water was falling in the steel sink drop by drop. The wooden windows were open and the leaves kept rustling every now and then. It would seem like someone just walked on them. The wooden windows would move slightly and thud against the stopper on occasional gust of wind. The eeriness in the air reminded her of the dusty and cobweb filled attic in the first floor. Most things looked grey there and the rest, black. And there were those strange attic windows looking into the parts of house that did not seem to have doors. During the day she would often stare at the windows wondering what could be behind them. Eventually that night, she ended up crying, screaming and calling her grandma to sleep with her. Her grandma was a bold Lady and fear of unknown was the the last thing that could scare her. She came to the room scolding about the discomfort caused and handed Nisha a torch and went back to sleep in her own room. Could one drive away a spirit with a torch? What a night! She hardly slept in fright. Was it possible Sanvi was scared too?

The small nap seemed to have erased Sanvi's concerns about room upstairs. Nisha took the kid to the room after a while  and was relieved that the kid did not object. Just when they were coming down Sanvi shouted, " Amma don't look back! ". Without thinking Nisha turned her head back. " Don't look at the rabbit " said Sanvi and Nisha ended up looking at it. It was now lying on a table. "You looked!! Waaaaaaahhhhh! You should not have looked!! Let's go! Waaaahhh! You should not have looked at the rabbit!"
"I did not see it. Where is the rabbit?" Lied Nisha.
"You saw! You should not have seen!!" Cried Sanvi inconsolably. Again it took some time for everyone to calm her down. Whatever was wrong? Why was she scared of the rabbit toy? Had Sanvi spotted anything weird in this beautiful yet mysterious place. Was the rabbit toy possessed? Nisha started recollecting all spooky stories including one where her uncle told after grandparents sold their Anglo-Indian bungalow, that it was actually possessed by a blood thirsty spirit. She started feeling scared herself.

It was night and Nisha and her parents were to sleep in the room upstairs. Sanvi would not agree and Nisha took her to Tara's bedroom instead. But while sleeping Sanvi started calling out everyone and asking them not to go upstairs either. Then Gowri told, " There is nothing to be scared upstairs. Let's all go together ". The baby was not convinced.
" Shall we throw the rabbit out ", asked Nisha.
"But you should not see it", said Sanvi.
"OK then let's go", said Nisha but waited for her mother Gowri to accompany them. The mystery of the day  had caused Nisha's childhood fears to resurface. She did not want to go near the rabbit alone. She waited near the steps till her mother joined her. So finally all of them including Tara's younger daughter Aditi set out to the room upstairs. With Sanvi in her arms Nisha reached the table. She picked up the rabbit which was lying only to find one part left behind.  "Oh the legs are broken! " said Nisha.
"You saw! Waaaahhhh!! You should not have seen!Waaahhhhhh!!!" Sanvi started crying again.
"That keeps breaking often", said Aditi, " we can fix it back ".
"Oh baby! Just because you were scared of getting scolded you carried such a burden entire day. Now don't cry no one will scold you. These were old toys and they break soon. My my! You are such a small baby and you got yourself worried so much.", said Gowri consoling the crying baby.

Nisha stood watching in silence as she drowned in whirlpool of thoughts. It started with a mixture of relief that there was nothing supernatural involved, and a disappointment that perhaps there is nothing more than what we can see. Then the realization that the first instinctive thought that comes to one's head is usually the right one. Had she not realized instantly that her daughter's cry was the one of a guilty but entire day of analysis just led to complicated theories. And the last thought was the major lesson she learnt looking at her daughter's bad day. Being afraid to face unavoidable situations torments one more than the situation itself actually can.

Super Mommy!

Date : 1996- 1997
Place : Lodhikheda

Akka excitedly brought an old steel plate and poured some milk into it. Pushu, as we came to call her, licked it happily and later settled down on my akka's lap. That was the day Pushu bade her mom the final goodbye and became a part of our home. Akka has a special connection and love for all kinds of living things (sometimes even non-living). As time went by, Pushu also loved her more. I was just a jealous observer wanting to experience the same. Such was their bonding that when we would all go for walks, Pushu would follow us like a dog. She would run ahead of us, play with something till we would have crossed her, that's when she would run ahead again. People who saw this often commented that she seemed more like a dog, "Ye tho Kutthe jaisi hai!".

One night we were invited for dinner at a house which was a few blocks away. We all went walking and Pushu came with us like always. After the party was over, she was not to be seen around. My sister whistled, made sounds to call her, all in vain. We left home thinking she might come back on her own. But we did not see her the next morning, nor after we came back from school. That evening my sister went to search for her beloved pet. After an hour she came back with Pushu tagging along her merrily. The previous night, there were stray dogs in that block. Akka said, Pushu had hidden somewhere in fear. I imagined her crouched in perhaps a crevice, not coming out until she was confident that it's safe.

Months passed, one day, my mom said that Pushu was pregnant, since her stomach looked bulged. I could hardly find any bulge in that tiny tummy. My sister later added more information that the father of Pushu's kids was actually Pushu's father too. All the time gazing at nature, I wondered if there was anything her eyes had failed to catch. Heights of cutenes, my sister even holds worms and points out as to which is a male and which is female. Her zest for life never fails to amaze me.
The good news was just what the nurturer in my sister needed. Pushu was generously fed dollops of butter without Amma's knowledge. Amma would also pour more milk and rice for the ever hungry cat. All of us were waiting eagerly to welcome the new entries.

One rainy night while we were studying, we heard a small, faint "Meeee!" at the window sill. It was not "Meow!" but a "Meee!". We called our mom and opened the window to find Pushu and her first kitten on the window sill. Quick arrangements were made without disturbing Pushu too much. We brought umbrellas, Cardboard box, pieces of cloth and the broad window sill was converted to a warm delivery nest. Mum then shut the windows and drove us away to give more privacy to Pushu. None of us could sleep though. After an hour, we went back again, there were now three kittens, sleeping curled in between her curled body. She looked up and her eyes suddenly seemed to have a new maturity. She was younger to me by years but looked at me like an adult would look at a  kid. The sharp faced cat, who appeared so naughty, silly and childish till yesterday, now seemed calm, responsible and matured. Amma says some cats are so confused during their first delivery that they even end up killing their kittens. Pushu showed no such signs.

It was a pleasure to see the kittens grow up. To see their eyes open bit by bit daily, to make them play, to see them play with each other. Pushu also had new habits now. Her tail would now move even in sleep to make the kittens play. She started speaking a different language for the babies. She would call them "Krrrrrrrrmeeeooww!". Soon the kittens started getting their daily treats of rats and bats caught by Pushu. Pushu was totally in ease and playing the new role amazingly well. We later shifted the cardboard box to the balcony which would open into the lawn area and eventually the main road. It kept them safe from rain, sun and had easy access to outside world. But this place didn't have a door and hence was an easy access to predators. It worried us a bit and perhaps worried Pushu more.

One fine day, while I was at something, there a loud bark at the lawn. Strange bark! I went running out to protect the kittens but met with an unexpected and strange scene! Pushu was biting the dog's foot and the dog was yelping in pain!
The same cat who had hidden in fear few months back, was now attacking it! The object of fear was actually bigger than her, but weighed much less against the fear of losing her kittens. Under normal circumstances she would have opted for a flight, but now she was so confidently attacking the predator.  Motherhood not just changed her looks and habits but also transformed her into a new avatar. A rebirth of sorts which brought out the feminine power to it's peak.
Loving and caring yet so bold and fierce!



Translations :
Akka - Sister
Amma - Mother
"Ye tho Kutthe jaisi hai!" - She is like a dog